tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67732895556738156652024-03-13T23:44:10.428+08:00the truth of pretendereverybody have their story in their life.and here is mine.MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.comBlogger392125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-47237260104898104812019-02-22T17:40:00.000+08:002019-02-22T17:41:02.776+08:00falling in love againya. aku jatuh cinta lagi.<br />
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tak same rase macam time aku jatuh cinta dengan Din dulu. sekarang ni dengan tengok gamba yang xpenuh pon aku rasa rindu..rasa berbunga..kali ni aku xperlu berkomunikasi dua hala pon aku yakin yang aku akan sayang die sepenuh hati aku. cukup dengan 'small gesture' dari die dah buat aku tersenyum bahagia.</div>
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nampak tak aku memang angau giler kali ni.</div>
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aku alert dengan setiap hari yang berlalu. siap buat countdown. punya x sabar nak jumpe, dengar suara, tengok muka. setiap sakit pon sanggup aku tahan yang penting aku dapat jumpe kekasih hati aku yang baru ni.</div>
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wahai cinta hati kami,</div>
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tolong bertahan. </div>
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sikit lagi kita akan bertemu dan bermanja.</div>
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akan kami curahkan segala kasih sayang yang ada untukmu.</div>
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semoga kau sekuat namamu</div>
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semoga kau dan kami bersama selalu, si impian kami.</div>
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wahai Tuhan,</div>
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semoga kau kabulkan doa kami buat si impian hati,</div>
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bukan sebagai pengganti yang dulu, tapi sebagai sebuah sinar yang baru.</div>
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Kau kekalkanlah nikmat kebahagiaan ini buat kami.</div>
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Amin.</div>
MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-30412377218750590082018-11-29T10:21:00.000+08:002018-11-29T11:25:21.251+08:00a wish for you<div style="text-align: center;">
today is your birthday , sayang.</div>
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i wish the happiest birthday for this amazing guy. because he never failed to make me feel the happy since the day we were together.</div>
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sayang, i never felt regret for asking you to date me cause if i never being brave that day i would never experienced this lifetime happiness with you. </div>
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I thank Allah everyday for make me brave to ask you that day.</div>
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thank you for being an amazing husband, partner and best friend for me. </div>
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thank you for catching me every time i fall.</div>
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i loved you and always will. looking forward for your next birthday. </div>
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i wish to have an amazing one next year with you.<span style="font-size: xx-small;">and our kid</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-65805542258882956432018-10-11T14:36:00.002+08:002018-10-11T14:37:24.239+08:00incompeleted mother (part 2)continue...(alert : cerita panjang, xde gamba)<br />
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Fateh's birth story<br />
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hari first aku admit ward (1/4/2018). and dorang masukkan aku dos pertama ubat induce. aku lupa name ubat tu tapi die macam ubat demam yang masuk ikut bontot baby tu. lepas masuk ubat tu aku xboleh berjalan dlm 30 minit. plus xboleh g toilet gak. lepas 30 minit dorang cek contraction..baru boleh gerak balik.<br />
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first dose aku memang xde rase ape..rilex je. hati resah tapi badan aku memang relax gile. yelahh..cuti kan..mc jalan. hati n pikiran aku je xseronok. ko duduk dalam wad org yang mengandung..sana sini bawak perut..sampai time check contraction n heartbeat, ko sorang je yg xde bunyik heartbeat. sedih gile. jirang bertukar tiap masa..aku memang relax je time ni..<br />
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first cycle aku induce, dorang administered 3 dos induce selama 3 hari.. induce tu dorang administered tetiap pagi utk minggu pertama tu..dalam jam 11, so petang jam 5/6 dorang cek bukaan jalan..sakit contraction tu aku start rasa pada hari ke-3 dos yang ke 3. lepas masuk dos ke 3, aku dah rasa xselesa. tapi sakit tu berenti lepas cek jalan petang tu. cek jalan petang tu tetap 1 cm..xde progress..dorang decide suruh aku balik dulu. rehat. hari ahad 7/4/18 tu masuk balik untuk cycle ke 2. doktor bagitau kes aku ni dorang handle hari bekerja je which is Ahad- Khamis je. sampai kat rumah, nak tido malam tu baru rasa sakit balik. sejam sekali.<br />
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doktor memang pesan kalau sakit tu makin kerap aku kena terus pegi hospital..tapi lama-lama sakit tu reda n esoknye memang xde langsung sakit tu. weekend tu sempat jalan2 g ikea.<br />
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doktor memang explain kat aku yang process ni memang take time sebab induce macamane pon tapi baby aku dah xdapat nak bagi respons dekat dalam so memang ambik masa. contraction je tapi memang xde pergerakan dari baby so xboleh nak buat ape.doktor cakap pengalaman die so far ada patient sampai 20 dos induce baru bersalin!! so die mintak aku doa banyak and sabar banyak2.<br />
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doktor xnak buat c-section kat aku sebab case aku bukan emergency and no point sebab baby memang dah xde. so tnggu je sampai boleh bersalin. selagi xde infection dorang xkan buat ape2.<br />
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doktor pon ada tanya aku apa yang aku nak buat lepas bersalin. aku nak buat post mortem ke x?<br />
doktor explain diorang akan ambil sampel darah aku n darah baby dari jantung die n sampel dari uri aku untuk study case aku. aku xsetuju nak buat post mortem kat Fatih lagi2 bile doktor tu bagitau even dah buat post mortem pon chances nak tau puncanya tetap tipis. so aku decide xnak buat post mortem.<br />
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mak mertua aku and adik ipar aku datang dari Pahang minggu pertama tu.. rasa bersalah sebab aku buat dorang susah hati n xdapat bagi layanan pon kat dorang. Din memang selalu ade..hari2 die tunggu kat hospital. dari pagi sampai ke petang. waktu melawat je memang muka die. Kebetulan projek die dah hampir siap so die memang xmasuk kerja. so, die lah layan mak n adik2 die. memang rasa bersalah sangat kat mak aku and mak Din.<br />
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mak aku memang xyah cerita la..xsenang duduk die. call orang sana sini, tanya macamane nak buat. pegi jumpe ustaz tu, ustaz ni mintak air ..macam2 cara die pegi tanya..aku tenangkan die, cakap yang ni memang take time. sebab ni bukan gugur macam biase. nak sedapkan hati die..aku telan la air2 jampi die n try tanya2 member2 aku yang memang kerja kat hospital. memang procedure die camtu. redha je la..<br />
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minggu kedua dorang naikkan dos. satu hari die masukkan dua kali induce. cycle kedua ni perit gak..sakit berterusan tapi tetap xde progress. and aku stay kat hospital pon 2 hari je. xlarat aku. setiap kali masuk ubat aku akan contraction. sakit die susah nak describe. tapi bile dorang psg CTG kat aku..sakit tu hilang..so dorang xdapat detect contraction aku.<br />
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sebelum aku balik rumah tu, aku ingat sorang doktor lelaki ni, aku assume die ni HO sebab muda lagi, masa die nak bagi surat aku tu, die pesan la kalau rasa sakit sgt terus dtg hospital. sebabkan ni first time aku bersalin, aku rasa aku memang dah rasa sakit teramat dah sekarang ni.eh, die boleh pulak sambung ayat <span style="font-size: large;">"kalau sakit macam sekarang ni, sakit geli2 je"</span><br />
tetibe aku berasap lak..ko pernah rasa ke sakit geli2 ni macamane?nak je aku patah2kan tulang die. xlawak okay. memang aku aim je doktor tu. kesian wife ko nanti sebab dapat orang yang xde empati!!<br />
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so..balik rumah still progress yang sama, sakit..tapi same je cam dekat hospital..macam yang doktor tu cakap sakit geli2. grrrrr! tapi ade kluar tanda macam spotting (google please!) aku tanya mak aku, mak aku cakap dah dekat dah tu. so kitorang decide tunggu hari ahad 15/8/2018 untuk 3rd cycle. tapi still, sakit aku still sama je.<br />
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kali ke 3 admit wad..dalam jam 11 lebih die masukkan aku ubat. bukaan baru 1 cm. sama je. kalau korang pernah bersalin, u will know how uncomfortable the process is. nasib baik dapat doktor perempuan sepanjang procedure tu. lucky isn't it? cycle ke-3 ni lain sgt..masuk dos pertama tu terus sakit. tapi macam biasa, bila pasang CTG tu, dorang detect intensity tu biasa je. tapi, aku dah rasa macam nak tercabut pinggang tu. tapi sakit tu reda bila Din naik time rehat lunch. makan sikit.. borak2..time tu aku pegi toilet, aku macam rasa nak buang air tapi xboleh, and ada darah sikit..aku dapat rasa tu la tanda orang nak bersalin..<br />
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Lepas lunch Din turun, aku nak tido memang xboleh dah, golek kiri, golek kanan. pernah rasa x ade something dalam perut korang n die bergerak, mengeras setiap 5 minit..nak nangis sgt2 tapi x terkeluar dah suara..aku memang gigit selimut je everytime sakit tu datang..dekat jam 3, aku pegi jumpa nurse, bagitau yang darah keluar makin banyak..tapi xla sampai tumpah darah, nurse suruh aku rehat je.<br />
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sampai jam 4, waktu melawat start Din datang bawak naik kuih siput nak makan sesama, time tu memang aku sakit yang amat dah. setiap kali sakit, aku genggam tangan Din, aku xsedar camne kuatnya tangan aku genggam Din masa tu, sampailaa Din tanya sakit sangat ke? aku just angguk je..baru perasan tangan die sampai pucat aku genggam. Din nak panggil nurse aku kata xpayah, sebab kejap lagi nak check jalan dah. Nasib baik doktor tu panggil xlama lepas tu. sampai kat bilik rawatan ade la 5 orang tgh tggu..sakit datang lagi..aku dah xboleh duduk..aku jalan2 kat situ.ulang alik. dekat gak 10 minit aku tunggu turn aku..lama sangat aku rasa 10 minit tu.<br />
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masuk je, aku tanya doktor tu, dorang nak masuk dos kedua lagi ke petang ni? sebab aku dah xlarat sgt dah..dia senyum je..dia cek jalan..time tu muka die berubah.<br />
"awak jangan gerak,jangan bangun tau"<br />
dia terus lari panggil staff nurse. aku dah kalut dah. wei ape jadi?<br />
"eh, doktor bukaan dah penuh ni boleh pergi labour room dah" kata staff nurse tu.WHATTTT??! aku macam lega campur takut..doktor tu pon senyum je..sambil pesan jangan teran, jangan bangun, baring je. dorang amekkan katil. doktor tu cakap, maybe sebab aku banyak jalan time contraction tu yang senang bukak cepat.<br />
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nurse tolak aku, kebetulan ada labour room yang kosong time tu, Din kat sebelah dari tadi sampai la aku masuk labour room. memula die tunggu dekat luar..masuk doktor lelaki muda. OMG!! camne ni?dah la hensem.hak3..malu siot!! die suruh din masuk sambil tanya sepatah dua..aku dah xtentu arah dah..die prepare kan aku..panggil nurse..xsempat die nak pkaikan aku branula tu, aku dah xsabar nak teran..<br />
1st teran, aku rasa air ketuban aku pecah..2nd teran, aku rasa macam ada something keluar.<br />
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tepat jam 5.30 petang lahirlah anak sulung kami, Muhammad Fateh bin Muhammad Najamudin. Berat 500g. Cukup sifat, rambut lebat, bibir kitorang..hihi..just imagine. despite of what happen, i feel so relieved and aku ada perasaan bangga yang aku actually mampu mengandungkan umat Nabi selama 7 bulan tu. Seorang anak yang cukup sifatnya..cuma nyawanya diambil awal..aku dah xboleh nak kawal emosi aku dah. hilang rasa sakit tu, aku rasa aku dah sediakan emosi aku selama lebih kurang 3 minggu lepas, yang anak aku pergi dulu tanpa dapat jumpa mak dan abah dia..tapi aku silap. the moment i saw him, i know i love him more than anything in this world. macamane aku nak biarkan dia pergi? anak yang aku kandung, kaki yang selalu tendang perut aku, buat aku happy for the past 7 month..baru je aku tengok, dia dah kene pergi..<br />
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aku pernah rasa hilang Abah. tapi feeling die lain sangat, bila ko yang kena kebumikan anak kau sendiri. kesedihan seorang anak kematian mak ayah takkan dapat menandingi kesedihan mak ayah yang kematian anak2..and masa tu la aku sedar betapa sayangnya mak ayah aku kat anak2 die.<br />
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aku bersyukur pada Allah sebab dia janjikan syurga untuk Fateh. dosa aku terlalu banyak untuk aku masuk syurga dia, tapi dia dah tolong anak aku masuk syurga..aku harap diakhirnya nanti aku ditemukan semula dengan penghuni rahim aku di sana.<br />
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Al-Fatehah Muhammad Fateh bin Muhammad Najamudin, anak mak dan abah. Nanti kita jumpa lagi.<br />
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<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-38937959601550954442018-08-03T09:07:00.003+08:002018-10-11T14:37:05.549+08:00incompleted mother (part 1)reporting back to work.<br />
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so..here is my story for my uncompleted journey to motherhood.</div>
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it took me a lot of courage to write this down. this post is dedicated to my angel, Muhammad Fateh bin Muhammad Najamudin. My mother, my husband, my in laws, my siblings and all of the "support team" throughout this journey.<br />
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26/03/2018<br />
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hari check-up & scan utk 7 bulan. semua ok je. Baby gerak ok. Jantung pon ok. Scan siap tunjuk jantung die berdegup kat aku. Tapi..doktor cakap yang size baby kecik dari sepatutnya..time tu dah risau..apa yang xkena..camne boleh jadi camtu..salah kira tarikh ke (last period date)? ke memang size die kecik? terus call mak aku update kat die..aku dengan Din dah risau..tapi kitorang cool je..doktor just highlight alert dengan movement baby and set tarikh for next week appoinment. everything's fine haritu..just mak aku pesan makan obimin yang nurse KK bagi. that was the first time aku makan obimin tu..sebab sebelum ni aku just consume multivitamin yang aku beli kat Guardian/drugstore. refer pic below.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibK2MVnTdaw6wc61FPgS-7Hq_a_I-z9tzRXHzCU7VcUwncUhUwgQYBmS3lzJ1mavgACCTlHB9NhyphenhyphenpBziS1bOOEG4tbEnytDRj1DJxUhyphenhyphenywgh2Pj1go5rnUM4jht1McVOiGSwsUz0q7bc8/s1600/m_bio-liquid_womans_multi_with_fish_oil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibK2MVnTdaw6wc61FPgS-7Hq_a_I-z9tzRXHzCU7VcUwncUhUwgQYBmS3lzJ1mavgACCTlHB9NhyphenhyphenpBziS1bOOEG4tbEnytDRj1DJxUhyphenhyphenywgh2Pj1go5rnUM4jht1McVOiGSwsUz0q7bc8/s1600/m_bio-liquid_womans_multi_with_fish_oil.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">consume this 1 month before pregnant..i guess its good for me. more story later.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
27/03/2018<br />
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masuk kerja macam biase. since aku masuk 3rd trimester memang Din je yang hantar setiap hari. harini pon macam biase. bergerak aktif macam biase. xde ape yang dirisaukan sangat. malam tu sempat lagi mintak abah die belanja kuey tiaow fevret..hehe..<br />
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28/03/2018<br />
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pagi ni biase je..aktif gak..tapi menjelang petang tu die cam kurang aktif..balik kerja cakap kat Din..Din kate mungkin kurang rehat kot..xpe..rehat dulu..balik umah Mak sebab teringin makan mi goreng basah. kat rumah Adam ngn Lily kacau2 perut..ada respon. so tenang la hati ni sikit. Balik rumah sendiri, cuci badan terus baring depan TV..sambil belek2 henpon dengan Din, Din usap2 perut, reaksi die aktif betul..ngekek2 kitorang ketawa..dah nak tido pon die gerak sakan. hati aku lega masa tu.<br />
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29/03/2018<br />
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terbangun awal dari jam sebabkan gerak Fateh yang aktif. hati memang lega pagi tu. siap2 pegi kerja.supposedly Din decide nak pegi hspital kalau Fateh x aktif malam tadi..tapi..die aktif je..so kitorang decide pegi kerja...dalam kereta Din usap2 sambil panggil "adik...duduk elok2 ye" ade respon. tapi die kurang aktif menjelang jam 8.00 pagi..aku memang start kire gerakan 10 kali setiap hari tu memang start jam 8.00 mostly cycle aku akan completed around 3.00 pm..tapi harini dari jam 8.00 sampai 12.00 tghari baru sekali gerakan. hati aku dah xsedap. mesej Din suruh die standby if aku call die tetibe..whatsaap Mak aku tanya is it normal? mak aku ikut pengalaman die, benda tu normal die suruh aku balik n rehat dulu.<br />
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tapi, aku decide nak pergi hospital balik ni. aku nangis kat toilet sebab terlalu risau. aku panggil Fateh, merayu jangan buat aku risau, tolong lah gerak, nak...aku pergi surau try baring, still..Fateh tetap xgerak..time tu Tuhan je tahu risaunye aku. x sabar je jam 6.00 masa tu. selalu nya pukul 3.00 dah siap tanda gerakan die..<br />
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Din sampai pukul 6.00 aku terus cerita kat die, and kitorang terus decide nak pegi hospital. nasib baik jalan xberape nak jem. so around jam 7.00 sampai hospital, terus naik bilik saringan. dengan x bawak IC, just bawak buku pink je. nasib baik memang nurse kat KK tu ade letak fotostat IC dengan surat nikah klipkan dekat belakang buku pink tu.<br />
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masuk bilik saringan..ni pengalaman kedua aku. first time aku keguguran then ni lagi sekali. haihhh..datang seorang doktor, die suruh aku baring dekat salah satu katil, die nak pasang CTG..tapi nurse tu cakap la, yang kandungan aku kecik lagi so susah nak detect jantung pakai CTG..<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQa26BzTLU4Nry-aSoTFO-boH-4RxJ2zRxkUjF3603MzO19QGtG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQa26BzTLU4Nry-aSoTFO-boH-4RxJ2zRxkUjF3603MzO19QGtG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CTG</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
so dorang pasang la benda alah tu..but nothing..aku dah risau..tapi macam nurse tu cakap maybe kandungan aku ni kecik lagi so susah nak detect plus perut aku tebal..lega sikit tapi hati aku tetap xsedap. lepas tunggu lagi dorang suruh tukar katil lain lagi dorang nak scan pulak. Time tu azan maghrib ke isyak aku pn xpasti..tapi aku ingat camne aku menangis supaya anak aku selamat. tolonglah bagi aku dengar jantung anak aku macam orang2 sebelah ni. hati aku memang dah xsedap time tu.</div>
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yang buat aku bertambah yakin yang something is not right bila bukan sorang doktor yang try scan perut aku..there was 4 doctors trying to find Fateh heartbeat..sorang dengar pakai doppler, sorang lagi tekan2 perut aku sebab nak scan, sorang lagi tukang belek monitor scan tu sambil2 cakap2..nasib baik dorang ni chinese so aku xpaham ape yang dorang bincangkan...tapi...korang pernahkan rasa yang something wrong dri air muka orang tu? macam tu la aku rasa bila tengok muka doktor2 tu. then dorang keluar, xlama tu aku dengar sorang doktor tu call head dorang..aku dengar betul2 ape yang die terangkan kat head die..medical jargon so aku xpaham sangat tapi dari yang aku dapat tangkap..something happen to my baby.</div>
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bila head dorang datang..die scan perut aku..doktor perempuan yang comel. muke die memang xsenyum laa..die terus tengok monitor scan tu..tekan lagi..sakit kot..n she discuss something..pasal <a href="https://radiopaedia.org/articles/spalding-sign-fetal-demise" target="_blank">Spalding sign</a>..<br />
aku memang cuak ya amat..and instinct aku makin xsedap..aku sangat berharap yang anak aku sihat je..yang Spalding tu just benda normal..but it totally change my day.<br />
<br />
Doktor tu tnye bile last aku scan..die tanya mase scan doktor ade mention ape2 x..ade tengok x jantung baby..die diam lepas aku jawab..after a while baru die cakap..yang my precious baby gone. pernah x rasa yang ko dah xdengar ape lagi lepas tu selain suara doktor tu terangkan tapi x satu pon masuk kepala kau? xde air mata pon all i ask her is what i should do now? suara doktor ni straight je..there's no feeling in her voice..macam benda yang biasa bagi die..die suruh aku balik rehat dulu..aku kene admit wad hari ahad tu (1/4/2018)..and dorang akan buat procedure yang sepatutnye..and i ask her again..is it true that my baby is gone?..she nodded..die suruh aku tunggu kat luar..<br />
<br />
lepas je dari pintu bilik saringan tu..din ade tunggu aku kat kerusi ruang menunggu..as soon as i saw him..i broke down..masa tu aku memang dah xmalu dah wei..sume yang ade kat situ dah pelik dah..din tanya pon aku hanya mampu geleng je wei..perkataan yang aku boleh cakap kat mase tu kat die is <b><span style="font-size: large;">sorry</span></b>..aku cerita kat die dalam sedu masa tu..lepas 10 minit aku pergi cuci muka..keluar je dari toilet nurse panggil aku amek buku..n dorang suruh aku rehat..prepare kan diri and datang balik ahad..<br />
<br />
2 kali..first time gugur..heavy feeling, sorry, feels like a loser.. second time..worst memory ever..Din suruh aku balik rumah mak aku..but all i want now is going back home..aku just nak alone nak rasa lagi anak aku tendang dalam perut and denying all of these is not happen..aku just nak rasa hari ni hari yang sama macam sebelum ni, aku balik rumah, rehat and spending time talking to my baby..feeling his movement..<br />
<br />
sampai je kat rumah aku..mak aku dah sampai..and she is crying..masa tu ko rasa yang ko dah kecewakan org tua kau lagi sekali..its really hard..dorang sume nak explanation but aku just nangis...Din just hold me through the night. Masa tu die dah xkesah kan mak, babah and adik2 nampak die peluk aku..<br />
<br />
that time i realize we both need each other really bad..for the past hour all i think is my feelings. i forgot about Din's feelings. He hurt as much as I am..he was so excited for the baby all the time..that time i can't see his face..he cried. He's a dad. seeing me crying is hard for him too. all we can do that night is crying.<br />
<br />
to be continued....</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-55295880187706412942018-02-21T14:44:00.000+08:002018-02-21T14:44:30.363+08:00batustop provoking, people.<br />
<br />
letak ko dalam kasut setiap orang..ape yang ko rase?<br />
bukan mintak dibantu tenaga, cukup dibantu menjaga.<br />
sebab cacat, sopak, kurap tu la keluarga sendiri.<br />
<br />
ceritakan depan2 ape yang x kena,<br />
bukan dicanang sane sini.<br />
ko yang tua, contoh yang muda, dihormati sebab pangkat dan gelaran mu.<br />
gunakan akal fikiran dan kematangan itu.<br />
<br />
kata yang dilepas xkan boleh dipungut balik,<br />
sekali ko lontar, selamanya jadi luka orang yang ko tuju.<br />
<br />
kalau ko rase orang patut hormati ko,<br />
act like one.<br />
<br />
biar sopak, cacat, kurap pon keluarga orang,<br />
sekali ko hina, orang takkan diam.<br />
<br />
kalau ko orang luar, sakit ni x parah,<br />
tapi sebab ko yang diandalkan untuk memahami,<br />
sakit itu lagi bisa.<br />
<br />
jika kami tegak dikata biadap,<br />
tapi jika tunduk kami terus diketuk,<br />
orang tua kami dikutuk,<br />
biarla biadap.<br />
<br />
ko juga punya anak,<br />
ko didik biar satu hari nanti dia akan bersama dengan ko,<br />
bersatu hati bersama,<br />
seperti itu juga kami.<br />
<br />
berhenti jadi batu api,<br />
sebab akhirnya api itu yang memakan engkau sendiri.<br />
<br />
<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-68718609541495893972018-02-15T10:40:00.001+08:002018-02-15T10:40:45.013+08:00my baby.it's been nearly six months u are in my womb, honey.<br />
it's been a great journey with u.<br />
we eat together, we sleep together, we do almost everything together.<br />
<br />
before u, i was so afraid to be a mom.<br />
u make it easy for me.<br />
just a minor nausea, and a little of back pain everyday.<br />
lost my good night sleep because of cramp, but its okay, i've got plenty of good sleep for these past 27years.<br />
i know, u just want to train me for longest sleepless night i will get through after u are born, isn't it?<br />
it's an easy pregnant compare to the others..and i hope it will end great too.<br />
lucky me to have you.<br />
<br />
your dad always amazing.<br />
he keeps on feeding us good food.<br />
fulfilling on what we are craving.<br />
little that u know, baby, u are a lot like him.<br />
u will not get 'cranky' when i stuffed u with your dad favorite food.but u will make me throw everything out if i eat something that i love (read : ayam gunting)<br />
well, it's good for you to be like him, cause he is a great man. he is good to his mom, and obedience. so i like u to be like him then. 😊😊😊😊😊<br />
<br />
we decided not to know whether u are girl or boy cause we like surprises, just like when u came into our life.<br />
one big hope that i always pray is u will be always healthy and growing well in my womb.<br />
well, all of us pray for that obviously.<br />
<br />
i really hope u will be born healthy and trust me sayang, u will be happy with us.just as much u make us happy.<br />
we really can't wait to meet u soon.<br />
promise me u will be healthy little baby. you are our little precious gift that Allah had been sent to us. and thanks for letting me experience all of these. u are a dream come true.<br />
i love u. we love u.<br />
<br />
dear June,<br />
come fast, so i will get my beautiful present, since it's my birthday.<br />
and this year i know the present will be GREAT since it's you baby!<br />
<br />
may you be healthy and chubby till we meet soon.😆😘<br />
<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-39596580491094120862017-11-13T12:53:00.000+08:002017-11-13T12:53:36.843+08:00new job new meyeah. i got my new job.<br />
<br />
bukan segempak macam angan2..tapi..at last..i'm right on my track.<br />
<br />
as i am excited to start a new job..something happen in my belly. 😨😨😨<br />
<br />
yeah.<br />
<br />
I AM PREGNANT!!<br />
<br />
surprise enough for me. as i (and Din) didn't expected it at all..and aku sangat positif mase buat keputusan nak resigned dari company lama. sebab keje baru aku ni need me to travel at least 60km (in total) from my house. not to mention terrible traffic jam (not as bad as KL but the worst in JB).<br />
<br />
masa tu macam, it's ok. it's nothing compare to the experience i will get.<br />
<br />
but..after 2 weeks starting my new job. and had so much fun travelling back and forth from pasir gudang to tampoi everyday(duhhh..) the UPT test took us all by surprise.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrsWhcfxUNShSVKYiEhG3wfdJ16kaPkHxbOcRhn04AHrKPFutd1Iu2WSrGqEikBDNnONRI6R6XKj8CtS06xV3rUFAqPyEvQV8a0La4tdiWviNO-DwwqJhS79xcX-JR2H2bcXwgQEx19k/s1600/IMG-20171019-WA0001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="607" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimrsWhcfxUNShSVKYiEhG3wfdJ16kaPkHxbOcRhn04AHrKPFutd1Iu2WSrGqEikBDNnONRI6R6XKj8CtS06xV3rUFAqPyEvQV8a0La4tdiWviNO-DwwqJhS79xcX-JR2H2bcXwgQEx19k/s640/IMG-20171019-WA0001.jpg" width="356" /></a></div>
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memula, aku check sebab aku ade mabuk n pening n sgt penat..so..i assume yg long journey to work takes it tolls la..aku amek MC haritu n just baring2 pagi tu sebab waktu malam je aku pening2 xlarat sgt..so..aku search kat google what is the cause.. n ofkos la 1st result die is PREGNANT. tp ak skroll lagi cube cari kemungkinan yang lain..and aku yakin ak stress..yela sebab workload aku bertambah..nak adapt ngan environment baru lagi. n meeting new people.n yeah..missing my old office.huhuhuhu.<br />
<br />
x terlintas pon yang kemungkinan aku pregnant..<br />
<br />
that morning sambil baring aku just macam..what if?..so aku test..luckily i have another 2 test stick yang aku beli saing2 ngan OPK test aku dulu ade lagi..(kalau xtau OPK sile check google) so amek satu n terus gi buat check.<br />
<br />
xsampai 3minutes pon die dah <span style="font-size: x-large;">naik 2 line.</span> n line tu sgt pekat. just refer the picture. aku terus lari masuk bilik amek lagi satu..sebab i just can't believe my eyes. and it shows the same result. aku lari gi bawah amek phone and whatsapp Din. aku suspect die blom pon sampai site mase tu. sementara tggu die reply...aku search ape je sebab yang boleh buat UPT stick tu rosak. n kemungkinan test aku tu positive but actually i am not pregnant.(get it?)<br />
<br />
n macam yang aku jangka..Din reply dengan terkejut nya..n die typing....lpas tu snyap..tp xde reply pon..i guess die pon tgh terkejut cam aku..sebab the other day die baru je ejek aku sebab aku lembik je balik keje..and aku nye respond like <span style="font-size: large;">"entah2 saye pregnant x?"</span> n we laugh it off. n the next day, the stick told me i am pregnant. what you expect.<br />
<br />
aku suruh die half day and belikan aku another UPT test. so in total i took 3 tests just to confirmed.<br />
n test ke 3 tu aku buat time tgahari (the concentration of HCG should be decrease as we drink) but the test is CLEARLY POSITIVE. so kitorang g jumpe doktor n Din still lagi xcaye..aku dah sikit conviced la dengan those test result..<br />
<br />
n just nak confirmation ngan doktor..n doktor buat scan n approximately he/she was 6 weeks old that time.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBruFjkWFzqSJxndHBdkN0OT9vjAU0PvfU8znLobuuhHj0cG5DyE1kBdM8mkhajXn7N3AZJbonnvBTAbUxh2952bpEVJ1kauJBhjz_pN1ouRStBo0_OsbTkHXarxlypNiHldfj6PS0mK8/s1600/IMG-20171019-WA0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="607" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBruFjkWFzqSJxndHBdkN0OT9vjAU0PvfU8znLobuuhHj0cG5DyE1kBdM8mkhajXn7N3AZJbonnvBTAbUxh2952bpEVJ1kauJBhjz_pN1ouRStBo0_OsbTkHXarxlypNiHldfj6PS0mK8/s640/IMG-20171019-WA0009.jpg" width="358" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">spot the tiny dot? that's her(or him)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
and..today as i'm writing she/he is 9 weeks old. so far i just got minor morning sickness that happened during night time..cause we(me and my future baby) is so manja dengan Din..balik keje nampak Din..and we give up to the morning sickness thingy. n we r so clingy and Din also..he tend to get emotional. yeah he is.<br />
<br />
so...happy sangat plus everyone is excited since we are waiting nearly 3 years for a baby..n sangat berharap die membesar degan sihat n kuat kat dalam tu. besar baik2 so that nanti bile keluar kite bole main mekap2.(kalau pompuan laa) or bole join Din minat Chelsea sesame (kalau lelaki..hhuhuhu)<br />
<br />
<br />
p/s : too early to tell but i think it's a girl :)<br />
p/s/s : minggu ni buat buku pink. hopefully everything went smoothly and kite bole g jalan2 IKEA tebrau.HAHAHAHAHA<br />
<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-5397543137822465752017-03-24T13:50:00.002+08:002017-03-24T13:50:54.188+08:00how writing help me heals<br />
well..benda yang buat aku emosi..i've just got news from my in-laws yang adik ipar aku pregnant for her second child. happy tapi sedih. i am wondering why it's hard for us to get pregnant while others around me so easy to have that. but i know the answers.it's just not the time yet.<br />
<br />
it's fine to be sad isn't it?<br />
<br />
i feel it's unfair. why can't He give me one child when He can give to others?<br />
why He can't ease my life while He can do it to others?<br />
<br />
then..i realized..<br />
<br />
kenape aku x bole jaga solat aku macam orang lain?<br />
kenape aku x usaha lebih macam orang lain?<br />
<br />
so..now, i need to stop questioning Him why i can't get what i want from Him..but start questioning why i can't be the best for Him. i guess He just want me to remember Him more before He give me what i want.<br />
<br />
writing heals me. because i find the answers for all my inner self conflict.<br />
<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-71702393510287913502016-12-08T13:53:00.002+08:002016-12-08T13:56:04.776+08:002016 : Mat's life<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13.2px;">dah lame sangat tinggal blog..sebab ade insta..n thanks a lot for that..but..my year end review..it's been ups and downs moment this year.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;"><br />so..the review is here..:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2016 : Mat's life</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the <b><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">EXCITING MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">the most exciting moment for me is when i knew i was PREGNANT (NOVEMBER 2016). not for long..but yeah, this year i got pregnant.mase tu sgt excited..even sekejap sangat ak rase happy (sebab aku miscarriage) but still it was the best and exciting moment for us.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the<b><span style="color: lime; font-size: large;"> SWEETEST MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">ok. yang ni memang aku pilih masa aku keguguran. masa ni aku memang sangat sedih..n of course Din la org yang paling down selain aku..tapi..the way die jaga aku masa malam lepas balik dari buat procedure kat hospital tu mmg buat aku cair..the way die tenangkan aku..n i fell for him all over again.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the<b><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"> CRITICAL MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">bila adik pompuan aku bagitau die nak kawen..die inform nak kawen bulan 1..out of nowhere and she getting married on May.so..tungkus lumus buat wedding die..gosh!!</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the <span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;"><b>ROMANTIC MOMENT</b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">the way he took care of me when i was extremely sad.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the<span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><b> SPONTANEOUS MOMENT</b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">pergi KL hari sabtu, balik ari ahad.haha</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the <b><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">THANKFUL MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">1st, aku dapat kerja..even x seperti yang aku harapkn..tapi..aku dah ade gaji sendiri sekarang n mampu nak tolong org lain.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">2nd, akhirnya aku rasa adenya satu lagi nyawa dalam badan aku..even utk 5 minggu..n benda yang jadi change the way i live..it gave me sensitivity.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><b> TEARFUL MOMENT</b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">bila aku tengok positive UPT test, 1st time scan even besoknye aku gugur..tapi masa tu aku sangat bahagia.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the <b><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">masa aku kena buat procedure cuci rahim aku..it scares me..sebelum aku gi hospital masa dekat rumah n tandas mcd..janin aku dh keluar..so sampai hospital doktor just attend aku untuk check ade lagi x saki baki kat dalam rahim aku..</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">n first time i felt so embrassed sebab yang attend tu doktor lelaki plus..he is soooo young..gosh!! tapi masa tu tengah sedih..so redha je la dak...hehe</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">-the <b><span style="color: #ffd966; font-size: large;">MOST CHERISH MOMENT</span></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13.2px; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">all of my time with my favourite person in the worlds!</span></div>
MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-67558064810087205222016-06-21T14:43:00.000+08:002016-06-21T14:43:05.320+08:00viral postpuasa..lagi dalm 2 minggu lagi raya..tahun kedua puasa as bini orang..tahun pertama puasa sambil kerja..(tahun lepas xkeja..ngulor je)<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
quite tough sebab belajar uruskan masa ngan uruskan hal rumah..balik keja pon xmenentu..so memang aku skip2 la masak berbuka..buka puasa umah mak aku..xpon beli je la..lucky me sebab dapat husband yang sangat memahami kalau aku beli je..or terlajak bangun sahur..die redha je..</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
hahaha..sorry.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
disconnected ngan cyber world for 1 day sebab siapkan kuih raya..bukak2 je internet pagi tadi..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
PAPPPP!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
who the hell is Hafiz Hamadan?!(pardon me..if i get his name wrong)</div>
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and my news feed is full with his story..</div>
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<i>so..long story short..he is Insta-famous and have a girlfriend..and he is so lovey-dovey towards his girlfriend. so..on her 22nd birthday..he treated her to fancy dinner, white limousine ride and big rose bouquet..not to mention photographer to capture all the 'candid' moment.</i></div>
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and it created a huge wave of responses to all the netizen. a positive and also negative responses..</div>
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personally..</div>
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sapa yang xnak dilayan camtu dari orang yang kita sayang..rasa dihargai..n aku rasa tu hak dia la nak spent duit die camne..tapi bagi2 orang yang melihat ni..n tag pasangan masing2..ngan harapan dorang pon akan dilayan sebegitu rupa..please..please stop..</div>
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dulu..aku pon pernah rase cmtu gak..kalau bole nak dilayan camtu..tapi lepas dah kawen..aku realize yang kita ni berpijak di bumi yang nyata..bukan semua nasib manusia sama..please stop comparing your life with others..</div>
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tolongla appreciate yang ade jugak lelaki yang nak kat korang..n saba ngan perangai korang bile korang mengamuk jeles xtentu pasal..xyah nak jeles sangat yang pakwe die sweet tahap gaban..beli hadiah mahal2..sebab kita xtahu ape yang dorang pernah lalui untuk dapatkan semua tu..</div>
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ade satu post akak ni..memang betol..bile ko dah kawen..sume benda dah buat korang rase seronok..bagi aku la..dah jadi bini dia..baru ko paham cara hidup die..n lebih appreciate pakwe kita tu..sebab..dulu mase bujang ko xtau camne die keje n saving duit nak belikan ko hadiah yang ko tag..tau2 je dapat..dah kawen baru ko tau..n mase tu..serious talk..ko nak amek hadiah tu pon berat tau..</div>
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serious talk guys..sekarang ni..kalau aku kata aku nak gi hangout..bukan nak spend duit tengok wayang, makan or belanje bukan2..tapi..just nak keluar pusing round Tesco, Mydin or Jusco..bukan nak shopping tapi saje tengok barang..bile aku cakap aku nak kuar makan..bukan nak makan kat</div>
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restoran 5stars..tapi cukup belanja aku makan warung je dah buat aku senyum lebar..late night drive pon dah hepi bhaiii..nak mewah2 ni tunggu gaji masuk la..tu pon tengok berape banyak bil nak kene bayar..sikit expenses on bills more expenses on me.!!hehe..</div>
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syukur la ngan pakwe korang..aku dulu lame membujang tau..siyes LONELY!!</div>
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nah.hadam.!</div>
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MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-74939748562563329722016-05-19T17:47:00.002+08:002016-05-19T17:47:49.508+08:00jodoh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uLgwn_9Q630PTMP17G791WrmlOpveKRUZkWgaYNcK78JeN7LnCszTbP2Ge-DdWu0VKIDWJcbW_faA4yDVfv14BFwGUJziLEft5GdhFMJJoKdkBSiRn-r996ZgwQO3utSPnkg_IuxnTM/s1600/FB_IMG_1463650637003%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uLgwn_9Q630PTMP17G791WrmlOpveKRUZkWgaYNcK78JeN7LnCszTbP2Ge-DdWu0VKIDWJcbW_faA4yDVfv14BFwGUJziLEft5GdhFMJJoKdkBSiRn-r996ZgwQO3utSPnkg_IuxnTM/s320/FB_IMG_1463650637003%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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jumpe benda ni kat FB..</div>
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA</div>
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jodoh tu misteri..ko pusing satu dunia pon sebab nak cari yang lain..kalau tu jodoh ko xkemane gak.</div>
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MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-90852589000723585902016-05-17T07:42:00.003+08:002016-05-17T08:56:52.511+08:00pregnantstumble across this last night.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrfSUWpWH477kxYYqzmKyAMieQBaDGYv92NwxWOB6sgZonFCoeqCx3AZ12bhniGbOa1jtIRbRv8gQ_KJlWsvyffgnZxWhfVP2UdAmLUriZ3_3WxqFf0kRhuVIJOX0fLJhydMR83tHNro/s1600/IMG_81852373672365%255B1%255D.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrfSUWpWH477kxYYqzmKyAMieQBaDGYv92NwxWOB6sgZonFCoeqCx3AZ12bhniGbOa1jtIRbRv8gQ_KJlWsvyffgnZxWhfVP2UdAmLUriZ3_3WxqFf0kRhuVIJOX0fLJhydMR83tHNro/s320/IMG_81852373672365%255B1%255D.jpeg" width="213" /></a></div>
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credit to Yard, written by DenaBahrin</div>
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it really depressing to admit the fact that you are not like anyone else. and there's a people who judge us like they are God.</div>
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it become more depressing for me now that my sister is married and its feel like a race for me.</div>
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just remember your words hurt. u don't know how much they are struggle to get pregnant. it's not because they are <span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"><u>infertile</u> , </span>it is not their time yet.</div>
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pernah dulu masa baru kahwin kawan baik aku pernah pesan..</div>
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<i>"jangan risau sangat..let the nature do their work..janji ngan aku jangan consume any product"</i></div>
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reason why she talk to me like this..because her sister had tried all sort of 'fertile product' just to get pregnant, thanks to all the 'medical opinion' from all sort of people who easily judge by the rule </div>
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<u><i><b>"dah setahun kawen, xkan xpregnant lagi.xsubur la tu"</b></i></u></div>
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n as the result..the product make her womb extremely fertile and she needs to undergo surgery or else she will get cancer.!! but..Allah did granted her wish..after 3years of marriage they get a healthy baby boy.</div>
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u never know guys. He knows best for you. doa yang baik2 utk dorang..bukan put the blame on us.</div>
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n for those who are so busy why i am not pregnant yet..here is my answer..</div>
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<span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><b>KO INGAT SENANG NAK BUAT ANAK??!</b></span><br />
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aren't we too cute to have a babies yet? :)</div>
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MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-88760718722051811912016-05-05T14:17:00.001+08:002016-05-05T14:17:18.996+08:00MAY ENTRY (1)ok.this month..kitorang dapat family baru!!!<br />
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yeah..dapat adik ipar baru..adik no 2 aku nak kawen.!<br />
Alhamdulillah..sampai pon jodoh budak gemok tu.<br />
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so..sume orang tengah busy gile sebab nak setel kan sume benda..majlis kawen die 6&7 mei ni..so..tingal dalam 2-3 hari je lagi..aku rasa lagi nervous dari si gemok tu.haahaha<br />
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tapi sume nye ok je..seronok jugak..<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_IZmGF4xSHtilJgmfJIK68JyJz5mOK_mLpO_ESLl6xfqSgI1_R4crEheSXjyUhlKELMr90Sk-WtW75ePjrBp-lS_uZkLQJY2sa3yjGQxcMaBLpM9LgdT2CNnX9KGfiJ-FJAQvMy2X9Ns/s1600/C360_2016-03-28-20-15-07-369.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_IZmGF4xSHtilJgmfJIK68JyJz5mOK_mLpO_ESLl6xfqSgI1_R4crEheSXjyUhlKELMr90Sk-WtW75ePjrBp-lS_uZkLQJY2sa3yjGQxcMaBLpM9LgdT2CNnX9KGfiJ-FJAQvMy2X9Ns/s320/C360_2016-03-28-20-15-07-369.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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gubahan ni idea aku..so..berminat? PM tepi. :)MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-39064956909906418572016-04-07T13:13:00.002+08:002016-04-07T13:13:49.654+08:00april madness<br />
april datang lagi.<br />
<br />
2016. <br />
<br />
alhamdulillah..life is getting better.<br />
ya. hidup makin o.k utk family aku..mak ayah aku n adik2 aku.<br />
kalau kau terase sakit hati merah mata dengan segala yang kitorang rasa.<br />
here's the few things u need to realize..<br />
<br />
we were born and raised by our parents only. <br />
so..they have every damn right in our life. not u.<br />
we were rude but our parents thought us how to respect people. even u don't deserve that.<br />
<br />
so.step back from us.<br />
i am warning u.<br />
MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-54274371293422760252015-11-11T23:43:00.000+08:002015-11-11T23:47:00.748+08:00after so longbeen too long.<br />
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don't have any idea.but i miss writing nonsense here.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5pfZJSbksQp1CH7M5jPTUBfNeB1mav7YIsvMFSInvLasPG7fFhRWxRKRGX8uL8T-7oqeyGT0W6OACIs6c6tWm2iVGxUsszpmGKFAd2ZUJSVnGI4gNSzjvWCZFoE2M2DQAVj0k5I2TBRA/s1600/C360_2015-11-08-12-12-17-805.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5pfZJSbksQp1CH7M5jPTUBfNeB1mav7YIsvMFSInvLasPG7fFhRWxRKRGX8uL8T-7oqeyGT0W6OACIs6c6tWm2iVGxUsszpmGKFAd2ZUJSVnGI4gNSzjvWCZFoE2M2DQAVj0k5I2TBRA/s320/C360_2015-11-08-12-12-17-805.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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pre wedding la sangat.</div>
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teringin lak tetibe nak wat sesi outdoor..dulu mase majlis xterpikir sebab malas..aku nak layan tetamu mase majlis aku..nak borak mesra ngan yang datang..that's why aku jmpot xramai n very intimate..sebab nak rase melepak ngan kekawan before our life's changing..</div>
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tapi bile dah kahwin..gatal lak.tetiap kali gi tempat yang cantik, we took photo. sweet photo.</div>
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gambo kat ats ni kat UTHM je.haha.</div>
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gi bayar transkrip terus bergambo..haha.mase konvo dulu xsempat agipon mase tu xkan la ak nak wat aksi camni..haha.HARAMMMM..</div>
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so..next bucket list.</div>
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GET PREGNANT AND HAVE OUTDOOR PHOTOSHOOT.</div>
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bile pregnant org x komplen gambo ak gemok.hahahaha.</div>
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<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-10266579962220861292015-04-07T13:38:00.000+08:002015-04-07T13:38:48.811+08:00<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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"we had fun just messing around and being awkward, like they would be awkward.</div>
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there's always that stage in friendship, when u wonder it can be more."</div>
</blockquote>
Emma Watson<br />
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MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-11724573857096432642015-04-04T09:38:00.001+08:002015-04-04T09:38:11.860+08:00random hotness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDI5Xi4RkGpRfBwB8i84PHgDr4jlTeT5nHRKFCEyUpljApBgMahC9eEuEfL1HmOjxEvZuGtSPlSUcgxW5EbYpTQMi1O5Vxv5lpOJ9_nENPGNG1d6BYpE-xOZfnlN1q5HIU70FpwJFHUlM/s1600/18808_742624019169097_3955332815489819669_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDI5Xi4RkGpRfBwB8i84PHgDr4jlTeT5nHRKFCEyUpljApBgMahC9eEuEfL1HmOjxEvZuGtSPlSUcgxW5EbYpTQMi1O5Vxv5lpOJ9_nENPGNG1d6BYpE-xOZfnlN1q5HIU70FpwJFHUlM/s1600/18808_742624019169097_3955332815489819669_n.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
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TJ</div>
<br />
actually i've met him before.<br />
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mase tu arwah atok aku sakit kat hospital..n kebetulan sebelah katil kitorang ade one of the police yang accident..n xsilap aku..that guy one team ngn TJ..n TJ was visiting him n talked to him..so..i saw him with my own eyes..<br />
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n of course..he is so handsome!!!n he is so down to earth.he's one of a kind.<br />
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proud to be johorean.hehehe<br />
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n till now..i can't stop my fan-girl squeak when i see his picture..n make my hubby give me a deadly gaze..hahaha..MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-92066589758816067392015-04-04T09:01:00.002+08:002015-04-04T09:02:28.575+08:00technology is dangerous<br />
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klik for HD</div>
<br />
aku baru terbace pasal kes budak jatuh dri tingkat 2..<br />
<br />
kesian.<br />
<br />
aku xtau ape jadi..so..aku bce la segale komen yang ade kat group post tu..hoih sadis..ade yang salahkan mak budak ni..ade yang kutuk admin..actually ade rakaman video mse kejadian ni jadi..CCTV footage..<br />
<br />
ni opinion aku..<br />
<br />
kepada ibu si mangsa..tolong la..please..jage la anak anda..nyawa anak tu lagi penting dri ape yang tertulis kat hp awak tu ye..ye mungkin benda tu berkaitan periuk nasi awak..tapi..tolong cari tempat lagi sesuai nak letak anak2 sebelum attend your call/sms..<br />
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aku banyak sangat da perhati..kat kedai..even...ade sesetengah yang sibuk ralit ngan hp anak berlari ke jalan pon xsedar..well..bagi aku...teknologi ni melalaikan..melalaikan sampai meragut nyawa.<br />
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nampak cam remeh kan...sekejap je kalau nak jadi..sekelip mate je...<br />
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al-fatihah.MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-59957706875636843672015-03-30T11:33:00.000+08:002015-03-30T11:33:44.930+08:005 years.5 years without him.<br />
<br />
it was unexpected.<br />
we always talked about dreams when we were together..<br />
being with him (after his divorce with my mum)for 3 years is a hidden bliss n i never realize it back in the days.<br />
lived with him for 3 years made me knew him better n Allah let us close to each other in the way that we never realize.<br />
<br />
he always spoke about how he want to spend his old days. how he want to see us success in our life.<br />
it was his dream.<br />
<br />
we miss him.<br />
i miss him terribly.<br />
his voice.his smile.his grumpy comment about my cooking.his compliment about his favourite food.his cooking smell.<br />
<br />
he loved to take me to the dinner.<br />
once a week.<br />
it always a cheat day for us.dinner treat for us.<br />
<br />
3 years without my mum beside him made him close to Allah more than he realize.<br />
there is silver lining of his divorced.<br />
he may not be pious n religious but he tried his best to be one.<br />
his reason was he wanted to be the one who solemnizing me in my wedding day.<br />
he said that was be the thing every father should do for their daughter.<br />
but he never stand the chance.<br />
<br />
when i miss him.<br />
i hear his favourite song.<br />
i cook his favourite dish.<br />
i do the things he love to do.<br />
talking about him all day long.<br />
<br />
since the day he gone.<br />
i was hoping i can find someone like him.<br />
he is my dream guy.<br />
i tried to see him in every guy i met.<br />
luckily, i meet someone nearly similar to him.<br />
someone who love me the way i am.<br />
someone who love my ccoking as much as him.<br />
someone who protect me as much as him.<br />
someone who fill my day as much as him.<br />
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but my true hero will always be him.n to find someone like u..its hard.cause it always be you.n the fact is ur gone is hurting me all along.<br />
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Al-fatihah.<br />
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<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-15917345304363339732015-03-27T13:15:00.002+08:002015-03-27T13:15:59.638+08:00BURGER SHOP DONE!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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YEAY!!!!<br />
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YIHOOOO!!<br />
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star for all the stage.!!! akhirnyaa!!<br />
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<i>"sye nak mengucapkan ribuan n jutaan terima kasih kepade pihak company saye kerana memberikan saye masa yang terluang untuk saye mencapai kejayaan ini.sebab..saye dibayar bekerja disini untuk me-master-kan setiap level yang ade dalam game ini..tanpe mereka siapa la saye..sekian terima kasih."</i><br />
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krik.krik.kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik.MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-66813085430641242342015-03-27T11:06:00.002+08:002015-03-27T11:06:47.359+08:00THURSDAY BOOKDAY : when i was a kidbuku ni die ade series die..aku baru beli 2 je..dari 3 (for now..)<br />
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comel la grafik die..sempoi je lukisan die..macam korang lukis kat buku latihan je...kartunis die memang sempoi..(maybe we can call him as 'doodlist' instead of 'cartoonist')<br />
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kartun die ade signature die..lagipon he's quite famous..<br />
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dalam buku ni bile korang bace...korang akan rase a part of the book sebab mostly yang die cite tu pernah jadi/buat mase kite kekecik dulu..<br />
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buku yang patot ade..sebab nanti mase anak2 dah ramai..n when they start asking about how was we were back in the days..so..senang..suruh dorang bace buku ni..<br />
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simple english..senang nak paham.buku ni memang kelaka..so..bulan depan..kit beli When I Was A Kid 3 pulak..hehe<br />
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and..ni link blog <a href="http://iamboey.com/" target="_blank">BOEY</a><br />
and u can find him in Wikipedia site.. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheeming_Boey" target="_blank">Cheeming_Boey</a><br />
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<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-16195567381713792152015-03-25T10:34:00.000+08:002015-03-27T10:36:59.144+08:00DRAMADAY TUESDAY : TEMAN LELAKI UPAHANsejak jadi suri rumah ni..so..kite pon kena la behave as suri rumah..hahaha<br />
1st thing in housewife checklist is drama.<br />
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tengok drama.follow dram tu sampai habes..haha..oleh sebab aku ni 1/2 time housewife..so..aku hanya layan drama waktu petang dan ke atas sahaje..<br />
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n...aku memang bebetol layan drama <span style="background-color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-size: large;">Teman Lelaki Upahan</span></span> ni..minggu ni ending die...cool la..aku susah nak grip satu drama n tengok sampai habes..salah satu sebab die..pelakon drama tu sendiri..<br />
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kekadang ade yang terlebih gedik.ade yang terlebih baik.ade yang keje nak nangis je.that's y aku tengok drama korea..dorang nye cerita complete set..cinta.kawan.family.ilmu..<br />
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tapi..drama Teman lelaki Upahan ni..BEST.sebab...<br />
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1. pelakon die sempoi.hero die x ensem/sado ..tapi sedap mate memandang..tambah lak watak die yang sempoi but macho.cool. heroin die..sangat rare dri heroin melayu lain..x gedik/innocent/suci ..<br />
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2. nilai kekeluargaan yang best.<br />
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3. moral values yang bagos.<br />
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overall aku belom lagi get over dengan EL..sebab die dreamy tau..sangat macho..he is average joe. muke pon cam someone from our neighbourhood je..plus lak watak die yang memang macho plus funny..<br />
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but..aku memang respect abes la ngan director die..sebab..pilih genre klise but change it ro something yang rare..<br />
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5/5 stars..<br />
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Siti Elizad (Kyra Lydia) & Ungku Ismail Aziz (Ezuwan Lutfi)</div>
<br />MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-89984402771184574102015-03-24T11:04:00.000+08:002015-04-07T09:44:22.288+08:00pre-trip ke bulan kitoranghehe..sape kate kitorang xde pegi bulan madu..<br />
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even xdela segempak orang lain...vacation at the nicest forest villa in malaysia...haa ngko.<strike>ye aku jeles.</strike> tapi...kitorang punye honeymoon ade special sendiri..<br />
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bagi aku...even pegi balik kampong pon kire honeymoon ye dak?!..yela...memang la no privacy ape kan..tapi bagi aku it's the new things for me n my husband...<br />
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so...lau ikot kan...kitorang dah pegi 2kali trip..<br />
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1st trip kitorang layan mandi air terjun sg bantang.new things for my husband la kan..sebab die xpernah pegi lagi air terjun kat sini..short trip tapi berbaloi sebab tu la 1st getaway kitorang selame kenal...lau takat gi dating tu mainstream..hikhik...lame dah aku ngidam nak mandi air terjun ngan laki sendiri..hehehe..<br />
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best,sebab kitorang pegi ari isnin..so..kitorang je la yg ade kat situ..xbest, sebab kejap sangat..xbest.hukhuk..<br />
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sg.bantang ni banyak kenangan aku ngan arwah abah..so..sambil mandi we reminiscing my childhood..<br />
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muke penat kenduri n bulat teramat</div>
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gambo mandi2..</div>
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nampak x..still ade inai lagi tau.hehehe</div>
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we are the happy kid!!</div>
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2nd trip kitorang layan sungai pahang beb!!trip kali ni kite balik hometown husband titew pulak..KG. NYAK, CHENOR. kebetulan kitorang nak gi berarak antar pengantin(adik ipar aku nye belah lelakinye majlis) so kite selitkan la jugak agenda pre-honeymoon kitorang..hikhik..<br />
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tido umah Achik(mak sedare Din) makanan pahang memang the best la wei..n aku sangat amaze ngan semangat keluarga husband aku..dorang very close..n buat orang yang jarang merase balik kg halaman cam aku..aku seronok..<br />
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kali ni kite lepak sg pahang sambil buat family picnic tepi sungai..tengok anak2 sedare lompat mandi sungai..rare woii..aku ngn Din xmandi sebab malas..just take a deep breath n talking about childhood memories..<br />
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i just love our couple wefie.hehe.</div>
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sunset watching at the river bank</div>
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budak ni la hai..kemain cute dok lari2 pakai kain batik..anak sedare.</div>
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meet my in-laws.mok,ada,yudin.</div>
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n belah malam aku belaja buat kuih yang aku xpernah makan..but surprisingly...aku suke..<br />
kuih pena n dodol kukus..Achik memang pakar buat kuih..MakLang the best cooker in family..rendang die terangkat...2 ari 1 malam aku berbaloi sebab dapat rase benda yang selame ni aku xpernah rase...<br />
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dodol kukus</div>
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kuih pena (aku panggil kuih naruto)</div>
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banyak care nak rase honeymoon korang..tapi kalau petik kate din..every trip we had is honeymoon trip..sebab we officially married..mase ni la nak merase bercuti..lagipon lau nak privacy..kat umah sendiri lagi privacy..hehehe..<br />
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bunyik cam kedekut..tapi bagi aku...betol jugak..sebab mase ni la nak kenal sedare mare dengan lebih dekat...aku dah la xtau ape2 pasal extended family die mase kitorang kawen..so..proper la kot..spend time tok kenal..<br />
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bagi aku pulak.. no matterMaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-56180399492371552302015-03-12T15:36:00.003+08:002015-03-12T15:37:04.060+08:00date me next time please..<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://www.viddsee.com/player/3ztuo" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
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stumble upon this..<br />
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say it before it's all too late..MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6773289555673815665.post-36403289668999726522015-03-10T15:45:00.001+08:002015-03-10T15:45:24.469+08:00rezekisambil lepak2 main game..tetibe aku teringat satu benda...<br />
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PHYTOSCIENCE DOUBLE STEM CELL.<br />
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benda ni tercome across je..so..aku pon bukak la Google..n terus taip benda ni..<br />
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n<br />
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WOW!!!!!!!<br />
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aku setuju dengan ape yang diluahkan oleh mamat ni..<br />
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<a href="http://www.syafiqsalim.com/jutawan-mlm-phytoscience/" target="_blank">syafiqsalim.com</a><br />
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opinion die memang kasar tapi ade point...bukan dekat produk ni je..tapi bile melibatkan MLM ni memang kaum kite je yang excited..<br />
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bukan senang nak kaye wooo!!lagipon...kite ni cari rezeki biarlah halal n dengan usaha sendiri..bukan dengan air liur je duit bertingkek...ko goyang kaki je...xpyahlaaa...duit yang kite dapat tu semua akan jadi darah daging kite n keturunan kite..<br />
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biar sikit yang penting berkat...RM 50 pon kalau berkat usaha..insya-Allah rase nikmatnye...duit berjuta kalau xde usahanya...senang je habis...yelah kan...bile senang dapat..kite senang buang..<br />
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pikir2 la beb.MaT_MaTuNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907899564114016583noreply@blogger.com0